Like Tolkien

I'm starting to feel like Tolkien. I read the Lord of the Rings and I watched the extended edition of the Movie trilogy (which, much to my chagrin didn't include Tom Bombadil). But I was much interested in the back story: How was the story made? Who was the producer? Who made the visual for the elves and dwarves and what did he, or them, based their decisions on? but most importantly, who was Tolkien?

I remember a distinct passage in the documentary that says that Tolkien did not write the Lord of the Rings the same way every other book is written: instead of keeping certain passages and re-writing other, he re-wrote the story several times. Each time, he started from scratch and wrote a little bit more until he wasn't satisfied with how the story was heading, and started over. And so, bit by bit, like waves hitting higher and higher with the coming of the tide, he eventually got the entire story written down.

Even tough it is more anecdotal than anything else, I think this is something to be learned there: Great things takes time, patience and a lot of hard work. Perfection is not achievable unless you are willing to put a lot of efforts into something.

And part of that effort sometimes includes swallowing up your pride, rolling up your selves and starting over.

I did just that.

I've giving myself a week to come up with something. I decided that since I don't really know where I'm going in life, I might as well try something, anything, that sound like a promising solution.

Right now, I'm going for a LPI level certification. If this doesn't help me, I'll try the CCNA and if that doesn't help me, I'll get the Ubuntu LPI certification and the RHCE certs. I have little to lose (except maybe money) and everything to gain.

Certifications

So I'm looking into changing my life a bit. In 2006, I was fresh out of university and seeing I didn't have experience, I looked at doing certifications. Since I have nothing better to do than study, I've decided to looked again at that possibility. I narrowed my choices to 6:

1. Cisco CCNA
2. LPI
3. RHCE
4. Linux+
5. GCUX (SANS)
6. Brocade SAN Manager

I don't intent on getting Microsoft certifications, and so these are the closest to what I studied and do in the last years. ( All these certification can be done by simply taking the exam at either a Pearson/Vue center or a Prometric center. )

Exam Costs:

1. Cisco CCNA: 125$ x2 = 250$
   
2. LPI 5 x 155$ = 775$ (3 certifications: LPI-1, LPI-2, LPI-3)
   
3. RHCE 799$
   
4. Linux+ 239$
   
5. GCUX (SANS) 899$
   
6. Brocade SAN Manager 150$
   

Since I already have the study material for LPI and CCNA, I think I'll start with those...

A clear vision

I'll start by saying that I became obsessed with books. I cannot go into a book store and not come out with something. In the last 3 months, I bought at least 10 books...

3 books in particular changed my perspective on life. These are:

• The Last Lecture: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow
• When All You Have Is Hope: Frank Odea
• Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity: David Allen

After reading these books, something became self-evident. And it is most visible in Frank Odea's book. All these people have (or had) a clear motivation that drove them to succeed. For Randy, it was his childhood dreams. For Frank, it was initially the idea that he would die alone and on the street if he didn't do anything. For David Allen... well it is self-evident: getting stuff done.

They all had this clear vision of where they were going.

And that is my problem: I don't.

I have no idea of where I'm going in life. No idea of what I wanna do. No clear childhood dreams to look up to (I already completed mine: it was graduating). No visions. No fears driving me. No motivation. No nothing.

But I'm not depressed. I am simply faced, again, with paralyzing choice : too many choices available and not enough information to make a good decision. I'm simply afraid to make the wrong decision and so I spend a lot of time trying to think about the best solution... to a problem that I don't really understand...

I've decided to change all that. I've giving myself a week to come up with a solution. Some direction to give to my life. I don't know how I'll do it, but I have to. So much is at stake.

I'll kept posting. Try to see what happen. It will be lots of soul searching...

Depression Diary

The Big Money (a blog owned by Slate) has posted a couple of exerts from a diary written by someone in the 1930s. Interesting read.

Depression Diary | The Big Money
Depression Diary, Part 2 | The Big Money
Depression Diary, Part 3 | The Big Money

"War. War never changes"

I find it cruel and ironic that I'm looking at the Fallout 3 game box while looking at this at the same time:

War... War never changes...