Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Monday, February 26, 2007

Ideas behind educated dating problems

In my last post, I talked about how most of my well-educated friends are all single... I have my own little theory on the idea... Of course, this is my own interpretation, based on personal experience and it might not apply to everyone, but it's still a pretty good explanation for my own social group.

So, the idea behind dating is to meet people, see if they share a or several common interest and try to see if this relationship would work. It's not really hard to do, but there seems to be some limiting factors in those I see in college. Sometimes seems like an almost impossible task.... Why? Well, first let's break up the meeting concept a bit. It boils down to a couple of things things:
  • A place
  • A social context
  • Shared or mutual interest
In addition to this, you need:
  • Spare time
  • Motivation
I think these are the primary reasons why most of the single individuals I know tend to stay that way...
  • It's hard to find spare time (Time)
  • It's harder to find someone who share your field of interest (interest)
  • Don't feel at ease in the 'Traditional' meeting places, like bars (Place)
  • Lack of some social skills (social context)
  • Seeing how poorly you fare, you bury yourself in your work/study (Motivation)
I'm still unsure how exactly to break this sort of vicious cycle... I've got my own ideas on the subject, but could not come to significant conclusions in almost 2 weeks. It's such a simple yet complicated topic at the same time... I think I'll revisit the problem in a month or more to see if any significant developments can get me a fresh perspective...

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Depressing Febuary 14...

In the last message I talked about how I had more intimate reasons to hate valentine's day, well the answer is simple: I've always winded-up single (and alone) on that day.

There is nothing more frustrating to a single guy that a days reserved for couples. It's sort of like everywhere you look there is a reminder that you suck terribly at finding or keeping a mate. It is as if everyone else could be happy except you.

It's very depressing and hard on the self-esteem.

But I am not the only single guy. There is a clear trend among all of my friends : the more educated the person is, the less likely he is in a relationship. All those with university degrees or higher are still single, while those who don't have a college degree are almost all in a stable relationship. It is as if getting accepted in any college puts off everything for 3-4 years, and when you come out of it, you realize what your opportunities where back then... and that you simply missed out...

It's not really true but it give a good idea what the real reason is. It revolves around the inner workings of dating. I've been reading a tech-based humorous book about dating (link) and it just confirmed my own personal theory I had as to what the initial phase of dating is, and how it plays out badly to those that have already graduated from college (or those well-educated).

I think I'll keep the little theory for tomorrow. For now, I'll just say this: it's hard to meet people when you work all the time, and it's even harder to find someone with mutual interests...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Feb 14

Tomorrow (or right now elsewhere on the planet) is February 14. Valentine's Day.

While I like the ideas behind this holiday, I hate almost everything in it. It has basically become a commercial reasoning pushing people to buy stuff. If you don't you look like you don't really love your significant other, or that you are too cheap to do anything. (I've got deeper more intimate reason to hate this day but I'll keep that is for another day.)

The best gift you can give on this day is the one that doesn't cost any money, it's what's missing in most couple.:

Time and Attention.

Show you care. Any material gift will probably buy you time or a little peace of mind, but it's only short lived. Quality time together can hardly be bought but the memories can last a lifetime...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Apple - Thoughts on Music

I never thought that an accurate portrait of the DRM problem would come from the one who has a lot to lose from it, Steve Jobs from Apple:
Apple - Thoughts on Music